Communicate Better With Your Young Athlete

Parenting a young athlete can feel like learning a dance—you try to stay in step, support their moves, and avoid stepping on their toes, but mishaps are bound to happen along the way. Many parents struggle to balance being supportive and overstepping, often unsure how much guidance is too much or too little. Miscommunication can stem from differences in expectations, emotional responses to performance, or even the pressure parents feel to ensure their child succeeds.

Effective communication is a critical part of the process. At TOPPS, we understand your unique challenges when supporting young athletes. It takes a village to get an athlete to their goals, and we’re excited to launch this blog series to equip you with evidence-based strategies to strengthen your communication skills. By the end of this series, you’ll have actionable steps to help your child thrive both on and off the field.

Let’s begin with the foundation.

Understanding the Role of Communication

Communication is more than just words—it’s about creating a connection that makes your child feel valued. When done right, communication helps build confidence, trust, and resilience in your young athlete (Kim & Park, 2020). Like a great dance partner, your steady rhythm sets a predictable and reassuring pace, providing stability as they navigate dynamic challenges.

The research backs this up. Harwood and Knight (2015) discovered that supportive parental communication leads to better outcomes in youth sports, like higher motivation and greater enjoyment. The goal is to acknowledge the setbacks while collaborating on challenges. Meanwhile, Li and Wang (2023) emphasize the power of autonomy-supportive parenting, which helps kids take ownership of their experiences and fosters motivation that comes from within (no bribes necessary). 

On the flip side, it’s easy for communication to go awry. Common mistakes include overly critical feedback, excessive focus on results, inconsistent messaging, or applying unintentional pressure. Such missteps may do more harm than good. According to Harwood et al., miscommunication can lead to stress, burnout, and reduced enjoyment for young athletes (2019). 

When do these conversations typically happen? During practice, post-game debriefs, car rides, or occasional sideline chats are prime opportunities. If the conversation feels forced, trust in the relationship capital you’ve built with your child. It can be better to wait until they’re not so emotionally charged (2019). These moments, though brief, are pivotal in shaping how your child experiences their sport. How you approach these interactions makes all the difference.

It’s a lot to manage (we know!), but we promise it gets easier with practice. So, on that note, here are some TOPPS Tips to help you get the ball rolling on healthy, solution-based communication with your young athlete.

TOPPS Tips:

• Practice Active Listening: Put down your phone, look your child in the eye, and listen like their soccer stats just made the evening news. Avoid interrupting, and show understanding by paraphrasing what they said.

  • Examples: “Wow, it sounds like you’re really proud of how you played today—that’s awesome!”

  • “That sounds really tough. You’re feeling like the play didn’t go your way, and that it impacted the team.”

• Focus on Effort and Growth: Highlight their hard work and progress instead of fixating on outcomes. Celebrate the little wins!

  • Examples: “I noticed how much effort you put into your defense. Keep it up!”

  • “I can see how much you care about contributing to your team—that’s an important quality.”

• Be Curious, Not Critical: Frame critiques as opportunities for learning. Constructive feedback focuses on effort and growth, not just results. Criticism often shuts down communication and harms self-esteem (2023).

  • Examples: “Why do you think you missed that shot?” 

  • “What can we work on together to help with those shots next time?”

    
    

Making communication a two-way street creates a safe space where your child feels comfortable sharing their highs, lows, and everything in between. This kind of open dialogue strengthens your bond and sets the stage for long-term development—not just as an athlete but as a confident, well-rounded person (2017).

Ready to refine your communication with your young athlete? Reach out to TOPPS for expert guidance. Your journey to being a great “dance partner” for your child starts today!

References

 Harwood, C. G., & Knight, C. J. (2015). Parenting in youth sport: A position paper on parenting expertise. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 16, 24-35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2014.03.001

Harwood, C. G., Knight, C. J., Thrower, S. N., & Berrow, S. R. (2019). Advancing the study of parental involvement to optimise the psychosocial development and experiences of young athletes. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 42, 66–73. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2019.01.007

 Kim, Y., & Park, I. (2020). Effective communication acts in coach–athlete interactions among Korean Olympic Archers. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(9), 3101. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17093101

 Li, S., & Wang, J. (2023). Parental influence on youth athlete motivation: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1080067

McAlister, S. (2023). Friday the 13th: Five athletes who turned unlucky moments into Olympic gold. Olympics.com. https://olympics.com/en/news/friday-the-13th-athletes-who-turned-misfortune-into-gold

Santos, F., Ferreira, M., Dias, L., Elliott, S. K., Milan, F. J., Milistetd, M., & Knight, C. J. (2024). A scoping review of coach-parent interactions and relationships across youth sport settings. International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 1–24. https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984x.2024.2332986